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Understanding Catastrophic Thinking and How to Break the Cycle of What Ifs
When your brain senses danger, it doesn't just wait for problems to arise; it starts imagining them. This habit of pondering "what if" scenarios comes from your nervous system's instinct to brace for the worst. While this protective mindset can sometimes help, it often leads to a cycle of anxiety that is hard to escape. Catastrophic thinking often arises from anxiety, past trauma, or a general sense of insecurity. Counseling has been shown to help clients break negative thoug
mrebekahshurtleff
Oct 263 min read
 
 


Understanding the Roots of Over-Apologizing and How to Break the Cycle
Understanding why you apologize too much is key to changing the habit and improving your social interactions. By recognizing the brain mechanisms involved, the effects of trauma, and learned behaviors, you can take meaningful steps towards change. Through self-awareness, challenging negative thinking, setting boundaries, and seeking support, you can foster healthier communication habits.  Remember, you deserve to express yourself without constantly apologizing. 
mrebekahshurtleff
Oct 194 min read
 
 


Is Venting with Friends Harmless or a Cycle of Negative Reinforcement?
Repeatedly recounting a distressing event can increase stress hormones like cortisol. Each retelling reinforces negative feelings, creating a habit that’s hard to break. Friends may offer empathy, but this can inadvertently keep us locked in a loop of despair instead of steering us toward solutions. It may feel good momentarily, it can also deepen anxiety and create a sense of helplessness. Breaking the cycle of negativity can be achieved by shifting the focus from venting to
mrebekahshurtleff
Oct 153 min read
 
 


Stop the Blame Game and Take Control of Your Life Through Self-Awareness and Forgiveness
Moving Forward: Embracing Growth
Ultimately, the journey to self-awareness and forgiveness is an individual path. It requires commitment and a willingness to face uncomfortable truths. Practicing radical acceptance means releasing the need to blame others for our current troubles. Forgiving those who have hurt us reclaims our power and directs our focus toward the future. It’s about understanding that we have the potential to shape our lives, no matter what we’ve experienc
mrebekahshurtleff
Oct 44 min read
 
 


The Friendship Recession: Finding Meaningful Connections as We Age
While the friendship recession may seem overwhelming, it also presents a chance to reshape our social circles for the better.
By welcoming change, taking initiative, and nurturing meaningful relationships, we can navigate this new friendship landscape with a sense of purpose. Remember that friendship is a journey—it evolves, and every effort you make can lead to richer, more fulfilling connections.
mrebekahshurtleff
Aug 313 min read
 
 


Boost Your Self-Worth with These Simple Daily Empowerment Techniques
Elevating your self-worth is an ongoing journey. Through dedication, you can cultivate valuable practices that foster self-esteem. Challenge negative thoughts, practice self-compassion, celebrate your achievements, set realistic goals, and nurture positive relationships. Every small change can lead to significant transformation. Start today and experience the uplift in your self-worth! Contact me at rebekahcounseling.com
mrebekahshurtleff
Jul 263 min read
 
 


How to Not Take Things Personally: Eight Strategies to Build Self-Worth and Challenge Negative Thoughts
In a world full of differing opinions and judgments, it's all too easy to take things personally. A seemingly innocuous comment from a friend, feedback from a colleague, or even criticism from a loved one can sting deeply and affect our emotional well-being. When someone says, "Don't take it so personally," it might feel dismissive, but learning to separate facts from feelings is vital for your mental health. 
mrebekahshurtleff
Jul 204 min read
 
 


Finding Inner Peace Through Self-Reflection and Introspection
Self-reflection isn't about dwelling on mistakes or being overly critical. It's an opportunity to pause and gain insight into the many layers that shape who you are. Have you ever considered what your strengths are or what challenges you face? Start your journey of self-discovery with questions like: What aspects of myself do I struggle with? What qualities do I admire in myself? After a tough day, try writing down three things you've learned about yourself. 
mrebekahshurtleff
Jun 293 min read
 
 


Understanding the Balance: Self-Compassion vs Self-Indulgence
By practicing self-compassion, you can cultivate a more supportive internal dialogue and foster self-growth without falling into the trap of excessive indulgence. Aim to treat yourself with kindness while still being mindful of your choices. Prioritize your long-term well-being, and you’ll find a harmonious balance that nourishes both the heart and mind.
mrebekahshurtleff
Jun 195 min read
 
 


5 Ways to Cultivate Self-Compassion and Foster Personal Growth
Self-reflection is not about dwelling on the past or criticizing yourself harshly. It's about pausing, questioning, and understanding.
mrebekahshurtleff
May 223 min read
 
 


Transforming Fear into Freedom: The Power of Intention and Vocabulary Change
Living fearlessly is more than just facing fear head-on; it's about transforming your mindset and refining how you communicate with yourself and others. The words we use can profoundly shape our experiences and guide our actions. By consciously changing our vocabulary, we can break free from limiting beliefs and cultivate a more intentional, empowered life.
mrebekahshurtleff
May 204 min read
 
 


Unraveling the Complexities of Guilt and Shame for Lasting Healing and Fulfillment
Guilt and shame arise from perceived wrongdoings. Guilt occurs when we believe we've violated our own ethical standards, leading to regret and a desire to make amends. On the other hand, shame digs deeper into our sense of self-worth. It comes from feeling fundamentally flawed or inadequate, often triggered by societal expectations or criticism.
mrebekahshurtleff
Apr 254 min read
 
 


Embracing Your Inner Light: How Self-Reflection and Compassion Can Transform Your Life
Self-reflection is key to personal growth and understanding yourself better. 
mrebekahshurtleff
Apr 83 min read
 
 


How the Friendship Recession Affects Our Mental Health
Despite being surrounded by others online, feelings of isolation and disconnection are becoming alarmingly common. 
mrebekahshurtleff
Mar 274 min read
 
 


The Top 5 Surprising Benefits of Premarital Counseling You Didn't Know
Premarital counseling is designed to address various areas critical for a successful marriage no matter what stage in life.
mrebekahshurtleff
Mar 83 min read
 
 


Embracing Authenticity: The Art of Setting Guilt-Free Boundaries
Setting boundaries is essential for your well-being, yet many struggle with guilt when trying to establish them. This guilt often comes...
mrebekahshurtleff
Feb 224 min read
 
 


Unveiling the Secrets of Self-Love: Overcoming Obstacles and Embracing Your True Self
Self-love starts with developing self-awareness, embracing self-acceptance, and prioritizing self-care and loving relationship with yourself
mrebekahshurtleff
Feb 133 min read
 
 


Self-Love: Is Putting Yourself First Really Selfish?
In today’s fast-paced world, self-love often gets a bad rap. Many equate it with selfishness, thinking that prioritizing your own needs...
mrebekahshurtleff
Feb 113 min read
 
 


2025: Embracing Self-Compassion and Growth After 2024's Lessons Learned
2025 holds the potential for new opportunities and growth, and it begins with our perspective on the past. 
mrebekahshurtleff
Jan 43 min read
 
 


Exploring the Nuances of Being Alone Versus Feeling Lonely During the Holidays
As the holidays approach, it’s important to differentiate between being physically alone and the deeper sense of loneliness.
mrebekahshurtleff
Dec 18, 20243 min read
 
 
Content by Rebekah Shurtleff Marriage and Family Therapist
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