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Family Gatherings: How Curiosity Can Transform Your Experience

Family gatherings often stir up mixed feelings. Some look forward to reconnecting, while others feel uneasy or even want to avoid these events. When family dynamics are challenging or you feel out of place, skipping gatherings might seem like the easiest choice. Yet, avoiding these moments can increase anxiety and cause missed opportunities to build stronger bonds. Approaching family events with curiosity can shift your experience from stressful to meaningful. This post explores how embracing curiosity about your family’s history and stories can ease worries and deepen your connections.


Discover the Unknown by Being Curious


Curiosity changes how you experience family gatherings. When you feel uncertain or anxious, focusing on what you can learn helps turn those feelings into excitement. Instead of dreading conversations, ask yourself what stories or traditions you might uncover. Every family has unique histories filled with lessons, humor, and moments that reveal values and character.

Family dining table set for a gathering
Find your family's unique histories with lessons, humor, and moments that reveal your family's values and character.

For example, learning why a certain recipe has been passed down or how a family tradition started can create a sense of belonging. These stories connect you to your roots and remind you that you are part of something bigger. Curiosity invites you to explore these hidden gems rather than avoid difficult topics or uncomfortable silences.


Start Conversations with Meaningful Questions


Small talk about the weather or daily routines rarely sparks deep connection. Instead, try asking open-ended questions that invite storytelling. Here are some examples to get you started:


  • What family traditions have meant the most to you?

  • Can you share a memorable story from your childhood?

  • How did our family celebrate holidays when you were young?

  • What lessons did you learn from your parents or grandparents?


These questions encourage relatives to share experiences that reveal personality and history. Listening actively shows respect and interest, which often encourages others to open up more.


Share Your Own Tales


Conversation flows best when it’s a two-way street. Don’t hesitate to share your own stories, memories, or thoughts. Your experiences add to the family narrative and help others understand you better. For instance, sharing a funny mishap from a past gathering or a meaningful moment with a relative can lighten the mood and invite laughter or empathy.


Documenting Family Stories


While you engage in storytelling, consider capturing these moments. Bring a notebook or use your phone to record stories with permission. Writing down or recording family tales preserves them for future generations and shows that you value these connections. Later, you can revisit these memories or share them with relatives who couldn’t attend.



Embracing Differences and Learning


Family gatherings often highlight differences in opinions, lifestyles, or beliefs. Instead of avoiding these moments, use curiosity to understand where others are coming from. Asking questions like “What experiences shaped your view on this?” can turn disagreements into opportunities for learning. Respectful curiosity helps reduce tension and builds empathy.


Seeking Support if Necessary


If family dynamics feel overwhelming, it’s okay to seek support. Talking to a trusted friend, counselor, or family mediator can help you navigate difficult emotions. Remember, curiosity doesn’t mean ignoring your feelings but approaching them with openness and care. Contact me at rebekahcounseling.com for some free tips on navigating the holiday season with less stress. Family Gatherings: How Curiosity Can Transform Your Experience and create a more peaceful holiday season.


Family Gatherings: How Curiosity Can Transform Your Experience by Rebekah Shurtleff, M.A., LMFT and APCC at rebekahcounseling.com



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Content by Rebekah Shurtleff Marriage and Family Therapist

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