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Growing While Healing Why Both Matter
Give credit for the effort it takes to notice, pause, feel, repair, learn, and begin again. Give credit for the quiet choices no one else sees. Give credit for staying with the process, even when it feels slow.
Healing helps a person become whole enough to move with more peace. Growth helps that person create a life that fits who they are becoming. Together, they form a brave and honest path forward, one step, one boundary, one small win at a time.
mrebekahshurtleff
Aug 75 min read


Five Mindfulness Techniques to Manage Stress and Overcome Racing Thoughts
Stress and racing thoughts can feel like a constant storm in your mind, making it hard to focus or find peace. When your thoughts spiral, it’s easy to get caught in a loop of worry and anxiety. Mindfulness is about noticing your thoughts without getting pulled into them. When stress hits, pause and watch your thoughts like clouds passing in the sky. This simple act of observation helps you stop rumination, the habit of replaying negative thoughts. Read more....
mrebekahshurtleff
Jun 253 min read


Rebuilding Trust in Relationships Through the Lens of Polyvagal Theory, Part II
Trust is the foundation of any close relationship, yet it can be fragile and easily shaken by betrayal or trauma. When trust breaks down, couples often find themselves stuck in patterns of fear, avoidance, or conflict. Understanding how the nervous system influences trust and connection offers a new way to approach healing. Polyvagal Theory reveals how our bodies constantly scan for safety or threat, shaping how we respond to others. This post explores how betrayal affects th
mrebekahshurtleff
Jun 143 min read


Breaking the Cycle of Codependency: Reclaiming Your Energy and Building Healthy Connections
Trying to heal someone else often leads to codependency. When you invest your emotional energy in managing another person’s feelings or problems, you give them power over your own well-being. This dynamic drains the energy you need for your own life and growth. Understanding why you are drawn to such relationships and learning how to set boundaries can help you break free from this cycle and build healthier connections. Understanding what draws you to codependent relationship
mrebekahshurtleff
May 173 min read


Weaving Forgiveness into the Fabric of Family Dynamics for Healing and Growth
Starting the journey toward forgiveness can feel overwhelming. Here are some practical steps families can take:
Acknowledge the pain: Recognize the hurt without minimizing it.
Express feelings: Share emotions openly with trusted family members or a therapist.
Reflect on the impact: Understand how holding onto resentment affects your life.
Choose forgiveness: Make a conscious decision to let go of grudges for your own peace.
Seek professional support through counseling.
mrebekahshurtleff
May 93 min read


Embracing Self-Forgiveness Understanding Growth Through Time and Experience by Accepting Your Past Self
One of the hardest steps in self-forgiveness is releasing guilt. Thoughts like "I should have known better" or "If only I had done things differently" trap us in the past. These moments were not punishers but teachers. They provided lessons that only life experience could reveal. Instead of dwelling on what you didn’t know, recognize that those experiences shaped your growth.
Accepting Your Past Self:
The person you were in the past acted with the knowledge and emotional tool
mrebekahshurtleff
Apr 122 min read


Transforming the Belief of Not Being Good Enough into a Positive Mindset
Many people carry the painful feeling of not being good enough. This belief often starts early in life, shaped by childhood experiences, societal expectations, or constant comparisons with others. It can trap you in a cycle of self-doubt and negativity that limits your happiness and growth. Changing this belief is key to emotional well-being and personal development. Let’s explore practical steps to challenge this mindset and build a more positive story about yourself.
mrebekahshurtleff
Mar 253 min read


The Transformative Power of Self-Love in Nurturing Healthy Relationships
Self-love means appreciating yourself fully, including your strengths and weaknesses. It involves honest self-reflection and knowing what truly matters to you. When you consistently put others’ needs before your own, your well-being and relationships can suffer. Ignoring your emotional and mental health leads to feeling drained and overwhelmed.
mrebekahshurtleff
Feb 142 min read


Discover Your Self-Love Language and Transform Your Happiness Today
Just as people express love in different ways toward others, each of us has unique ways of showing love to ourselves. These personal self-love languages shape how we nurture our wellbeing and happiness. Understanding your self-love language can lead to a deeper connection with yourself and improve your overall quality of life. This post explores five self-love languages and offers practical tips to help you embrace them.
mrebekahshurtleff
Jan 283 min read


Coping with the Winter Blues
Many people experience a drop in mood as the days grow shorter and colder. This feeling, often called the "winter blues," can make daily life harder and less enjoyable. For some, these mood changes are brief and mild, but for others, they can be more serious and affect how they think, feel, and behave. Understanding these changes and knowing how to manage them can make a big difference during the colder months. SAD affects the body’s natural rhythms and the balance of seroton
mrebekahshurtleff
Jan 32 min read


Managing Holiday Stress: Recognizing Triggers and Finding Joy in the Season
The holiday season often brings a mix of excitement and pressure. While many look forward to celebrations and time with loved ones, others feel overwhelmed by the demands that come with this time of year. If you find yourself stressed or anxious during the holidays, you are not alone. Understanding what triggers your stress is the first step toward managing it and finding moments of joy. Once you recognize your triggers, you can take steps to reduce stress and enjoy the seas
mrebekahshurtleff
Dec 4, 20253 min read


Family Gatherings: How Curiosity Can Transform Your Experience
Family gatherings often stir up mixed feelings. Some look forward to reconnecting, while others feel uneasy or even want to avoid these events. When family dynamics are challenging or you feel out of place, skipping gatherings might seem like the easiest choice. Yet, avoiding these moments can increase anxiety and cause missed opportunities to build stronger bonds. Approaching family events with curiosity can shift your experience from stressful to meaningful. Read more....
mrebekahshurtleff
Nov 26, 20253 min read


Embracing the Power of Forgiveness: A Path to Healing This Holiday Season
Forgiveness does not mean forgetting or excusing hurtful actions. Instead, it means deciding to release the emotional weight that comes with past pain. Many families carry generational trauma—patterns of hurt and misunderstanding passed down through years. Recognizing these patterns is the first step toward breaking free from them. Forgiving family members can be difficult. It takes time, patience, and sometimes courage to face painful memories. gather. Choosing forgiveness
mrebekahshurtleff
Nov 20, 20253 min read


Navigating Family Stress During Holidays Tips for Joyful Gatherings
The holiday season often brings excitement and warmth, but it can also stir up stress and tension within families. When relatives gather, old conflicts and unresolved feelings sometimes resurface, making celebrations challenging. Understanding how to manage these mo ments can transform holiday gatherings into joyful experiences that strengthen family bonds. The holiday season offers a chance to deepen family connections, but the work does not end when the celebrations do.
mrebekahshurtleff
Nov 8, 20253 min read


Exploring EMDR Therapy Benefits for Veterans Battling PTSD
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a major challenge for many veterans returning from military service. The emotional and psychological impact of traumatic experiences can be overwhelming, deeply affecting daily life and relationships. Thankfully, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy has become a powerful tool for healing. This blog post discusses the benefits of EMDR therapy for veterans, the essential components, and how it can assist in recove

Rebekah Shurtleff
Nov 2, 20253 min read


Understanding Catastrophic Thinking and How to Break the Cycle of What Ifs
When your brain senses danger, it doesn't just wait for problems to arise; it starts imagining them. This habit of pondering "what if" scenarios comes from your nervous system's instinct to brace for the worst. While this protective mindset can sometimes help, it often leads to a cycle of anxiety that is hard to escape. Catastrophic thinking often arises from anxiety, past trauma, or a general sense of insecurity. Counseling has been shown to help clients break negative thoug
mrebekahshurtleff
Oct 26, 20253 min read


Understanding the Roots of Over-Apologizing and How to Break the Cycle
Understanding why you apologize too much is key to changing the habit and improving your social interactions. By recognizing the brain mechanisms involved, the effects of trauma, and learned behaviors, you can take meaningful steps towards change. Through self-awareness, challenging negative thinking, setting boundaries, and seeking support, you can foster healthier communication habits. Remember, you deserve to express yourself without constantly apologizing.
mrebekahshurtleff
Oct 19, 20254 min read


Is Venting with Friends Harmless or a Cycle of Negative Reinforcement?
Repeatedly recounting a distressing event can increase stress hormones like cortisol. Each retelling reinforces negative feelings, creating a habit that’s hard to break. Friends may offer empathy, but this can inadvertently keep us locked in a loop of despair instead of steering us toward solutions. It may feel good momentarily, it can also deepen anxiety and create a sense of helplessness. Breaking the cycle of negativity can be achieved by shifting the focus from venting to
mrebekahshurtleff
Oct 15, 20253 min read


The Healing Power of Tears: Unveiling the Emotional, Physical, and Social Benefits of Crying
The healing power of tears is undeniable. From the physical benefits of eye health and detoxification to the emotional advantages of stress relief and mood enhancement, crying is a natural part of the human experience. Furthermore, the social benefits, such as bonding and communication, create deeper connections with others.
mrebekahshurtleff
Sep 13, 20253 min read


The Friendship Recession: Finding Meaningful Connections as We Age
While the friendship recession may seem overwhelming, it also presents a chance to reshape our social circles for the better.
By welcoming change, taking initiative, and nurturing meaningful relationships, we can navigate this new friendship landscape with a sense of purpose. Remember that friendship is a journey—it evolves, and every effort you make can lead to richer, more fulfilling connections.
mrebekahshurtleff
Aug 31, 20253 min read
Content by Rebekah Shurtleff Marriage and Family Therapist
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