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Giving Yourself Grace to Release Shame and Heal Your Younger Self
Self forgiveness allows you to face the truth without collapsing under it. You can name what happened. You can repair what can be repaired. You can grieve what cannot be changed. And you can carry the lesson forward without dragging the shame behind you forever.
That is not weakness. That is emotional maturity.
Shame often comes from judging the past with present knowledge. But your younger self was not standing where you are standing now. They were inside the moment and made
mrebekahshurtleff
3 hours ago8 min read


Micro Decisions and the Hidden Power of Small Choices
A micro decision is any small decision made during the day. It can be what time to wake up, whether to drink water first, whether to pause before reacting, whether to write one sentence, or whether to put on running shoes. These choices look minor, but they are the steps between point A and point B. Willpower is weakest when life gets loud.
The goal is not to perfect every moment. The goal is to use small choices on purpose, so they start shaping the person you are becoming.
mrebekahshurtleff
Aug 284 min read


Growing While Healing Why Both Matter
Give credit for the effort it takes to notice, pause, feel, repair, learn, and begin again. Give credit for the quiet choices no one else sees. Give credit for staying with the process, even when it feels slow.
Healing helps a person become whole enough to move with more peace. Growth helps that person create a life that fits who they are becoming. Together, they form a brave and honest path forward, one step, one boundary, one small win at a time.
mrebekahshurtleff
Aug 75 min read


Five Mindfulness Techniques to Manage Stress and Overcome Racing Thoughts
Stress and racing thoughts can feel like a constant storm in your mind, making it hard to focus or find peace. When your thoughts spiral, it’s easy to get caught in a loop of worry and anxiety. Mindfulness is about noticing your thoughts without getting pulled into them. When stress hits, pause and watch your thoughts like clouds passing in the sky. This simple act of observation helps you stop rumination, the habit of replaying negative thoughts. Read more....
mrebekahshurtleff
Jun 253 min read


Weaving Forgiveness into the Fabric of Family Dynamics for Healing and Growth
Starting the journey toward forgiveness can feel overwhelming. Here are some practical steps families can take:
Acknowledge the pain: Recognize the hurt without minimizing it.
Express feelings: Share emotions openly with trusted family members or a therapist.
Reflect on the impact: Understand how holding onto resentment affects your life.
Choose forgiveness: Make a conscious decision to let go of grudges for your own peace.
Seek professional support through counseling.
mrebekahshurtleff
May 93 min read


Embracing Self-Forgiveness Understanding Growth Through Time and Experience by Accepting Your Past Self
One of the hardest steps in self-forgiveness is releasing guilt. Thoughts like "I should have known better" or "If only I had done things differently" trap us in the past. These moments were not punishers but teachers. They provided lessons that only life experience could reveal. Instead of dwelling on what you didn’t know, recognize that those experiences shaped your growth.
Accepting Your Past Self:
The person you were in the past acted with the knowledge and emotional tool
mrebekahshurtleff
Apr 122 min read


Transforming the Belief of Not Being Good Enough into a Positive Mindset
Many people carry the painful feeling of not being good enough. This belief often starts early in life, shaped by childhood experiences, societal expectations, or constant comparisons with others. It can trap you in a cycle of self-doubt and negativity that limits your happiness and growth. Changing this belief is key to emotional well-being and personal development. Let’s explore practical steps to challenge this mindset and build a more positive story about yourself.
mrebekahshurtleff
Mar 253 min read


Raising Resilient Kids: Effective Strategies for Helping Children Tolerate Distress
Helping children tolerate distress is a vital part of parenting. Using positive descriptive acknowledgement, catching positive behaviors, and focusing on effort rather than just outcomes builds resilience. These parenting tips, combined with calm modeling and open communication, create a strong foundation for children to face life’s challenges confidently.
mrebekahshurtleff
Mar 23 min read


Breaking Free from the Cycle of Catastrophic Thinking and Anxiety
Catastrophic thinking can feel like a storm cloud hanging over your mind, ready to burst with anxiety and fear at any moment. When your brain senses danger, it doesn’t just wait for problems to arise; it starts imagining them. This habit of pondering “what if” scenarios comes from your nervous system’s instinct to brace for the worst. While this protective mindset can sometimes help, it often leads to a cycle of anxiety that is hard to escape.
Understanding this pattern to be
mrebekahshurtleff
Jan 123 min read


Coping with the Winter Blues
Many people experience a drop in mood as the days grow shorter and colder. This feeling, often called the "winter blues," can make daily life harder and less enjoyable. For some, these mood changes are brief and mild, but for others, they can be more serious and affect how they think, feel, and behave. Understanding these changes and knowing how to manage them can make a big difference during the colder months. SAD affects the body’s natural rhythms and the balance of seroton
mrebekahshurtleff
Jan 32 min read


Forgiveness for Family Harmony: A Transformative Holiday Approach
Embrace the power of forgiveness; it might just transform how you celebrate the holidays for years to come; honor our past foster our future
mrebekahshurtleff
Dec 16, 20253 min read


Family Gatherings: How Curiosity Can Transform Your Experience
Family gatherings often stir up mixed feelings. Some look forward to reconnecting, while others feel uneasy or even want to avoid these events. When family dynamics are challenging or you feel out of place, skipping gatherings might seem like the easiest choice. Yet, avoiding these moments can increase anxiety and cause missed opportunities to build stronger bonds. Approaching family events with curiosity can shift your experience from stressful to meaningful. Read more....
mrebekahshurtleff
Nov 26, 20253 min read


Navigating Family Stress During Holidays Tips for Joyful Gatherings
The holiday season often brings excitement and warmth, but it can also stir up stress and tension within families. When relatives gather, old conflicts and unresolved feelings sometimes resurface, making celebrations challenging. Understanding how to manage these mo ments can transform holiday gatherings into joyful experiences that strengthen family bonds. The holiday season offers a chance to deepen family connections, but the work does not end when the celebrations do.
mrebekahshurtleff
Nov 8, 20253 min read


Exploring EMDR Therapy Benefits for Veterans Battling PTSD
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is a major challenge for many veterans returning from military service. The emotional and psychological impact of traumatic experiences can be overwhelming, deeply affecting daily life and relationships. Thankfully, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy has become a powerful tool for healing. This blog post discusses the benefits of EMDR therapy for veterans, the essential components, and how it can assist in recove

Rebekah Shurtleff
Nov 2, 20253 min read


Understanding Catastrophic Thinking and How to Break the Cycle of What Ifs
When your brain senses danger, it doesn't just wait for problems to arise; it starts imagining them. This habit of pondering "what if" scenarios comes from your nervous system's instinct to brace for the worst. While this protective mindset can sometimes help, it often leads to a cycle of anxiety that is hard to escape. Catastrophic thinking often arises from anxiety, past trauma, or a general sense of insecurity. Counseling has been shown to help clients break negative thoug
mrebekahshurtleff
Oct 26, 20253 min read


Understanding the Roots of Over-Apologizing and How to Break the Cycle
Understanding why you apologize too much is key to changing the habit and improving your social interactions. By recognizing the brain mechanisms involved, the effects of trauma, and learned behaviors, you can take meaningful steps towards change. Through self-awareness, challenging negative thinking, setting boundaries, and seeking support, you can foster healthier communication habits. Remember, you deserve to express yourself without constantly apologizing.
mrebekahshurtleff
Oct 19, 20254 min read


Stop the Blame Game and Take Control of Your Life Through Self-Awareness and Forgiveness
Moving Forward: Embracing Growth
Ultimately, the journey to self-awareness and forgiveness is an individual path. It requires commitment and a willingness to face uncomfortable truths. Practicing radical acceptance means releasing the need to blame others for our current troubles. Forgiving those who have hurt us reclaims our power and directs our focus toward the future. It’s about understanding that we have the potential to shape our lives, no matter what we’ve experienc
mrebekahshurtleff
Oct 4, 20254 min read


Rewire Your Brain by Shifting from Struggles to Solutions with Simple Language Techniques
By using phrases like “I remember when I used to struggle with…” we can teach our brains to view these problems as part of our past instead of our present. This post will explore practical language techniques that tap into the brain's ability to adapt, known as neuroplasticity, and how they can foster a more positive mindset. Rewiring your brain requires consistent and deliberate practice. It's not an overnight transformation; it's a gradual process.
mrebekahshurtleff
Sep 30, 20254 min read


The Healing Power of Tears: Unveiling the Emotional, Physical, and Social Benefits of Crying
The healing power of tears is undeniable. From the physical benefits of eye health and detoxification to the emotional advantages of stress relief and mood enhancement, crying is a natural part of the human experience. Furthermore, the social benefits, such as bonding and communication, create deeper connections with others.
mrebekahshurtleff
Sep 13, 20253 min read


The Friendship Recession: Finding Meaningful Connections as We Age
While the friendship recession may seem overwhelming, it also presents a chance to reshape our social circles for the better.
By welcoming change, taking initiative, and nurturing meaningful relationships, we can navigate this new friendship landscape with a sense of purpose. Remember that friendship is a journey—it evolves, and every effort you make can lead to richer, more fulfilling connections.
mrebekahshurtleff
Aug 31, 20253 min read
Content by Rebekah Shurtleff Marriage and Family Therapist
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