Supporting Others in Crisis: The Art of Extending a Helping Hand without Overstepping Boundaries
- mrebekahshurtleff
- Jan 16
- 3 min read
Crisis situations can be overwhelming. Whether it's a friend coping with personal loss, a colleague battling mental health issues, or a family member going through a significant life change, knowing how to help can truly make a difference. This post delves into practical ways to support others effectively without crossing personal boundaries.
Let Them Know They Are Not Alone
One of the most important things you can do in a crisis is to let the person know they are not alone. A heartfelt, “I’m here for you,” or simply checking in with a text can mean the world.
Being present—whether physically or emotionally—serves as a powerful reminder that they have someone on their side. According to a study from the American Psychological Association, feeling socially supported can reduce stress levels by up to 50%. Your presence can help provide that crucial support.
Breathe Together

Crises often bring stress and anxiety. An effective way to combat this is by practicing breathing exercises together.
Try this simple technique: take a deep breath in for four counts, hold for four, and exhale for four. Do this for five cycles. This shared experience can create a moment of calm, helping both of you regain composure. Research indicates that deep breathing can lower cortisol levels, helping ease anxiety during high-pressure situations. Need more breathing techniques, contact me for FREE breathing techniques that are easy to use at rebekahcounseling.com.
Notice How You're Offering to Help
It’s vital to pay attention to how you offer support. Instead of providing unsolicited advice, ask them what they need. Phrasing your offer with care is essential. For instance, “How can I best support you right now?” directs the focus on their needs rather than your assumptions.
This approach shows you genuinely care and helps build trust—a critical component when dealing with personal struggles.
Take Time to Listen and Validate
Active listening is crucial when someone is going through a tough time. When they share their feelings, ensure you give them your full attention, avoiding interruptions. Summarize what they are saying and use validation and empathetic statements.
Imagine saying something like, “That sounds incredibly challenging,” rather than steering the conversation towards solutions immediately. This validation can foster a deeper connection. A 2019 study revealed that those who feel listened to are 25% more likely to cope better with stress and anxiety.
Acknowledge Good Things They Are Already Doing
In times of crisis, it is easy for individuals to concentrate on their setbacks. It is vital to recognize and celebrate the positive steps they have made.
For example, if they managed to get out of bed today, acknowledge it. Phrases like, “I admire your strength in handling this,” reinforce their resilience and encourage them to maintain a hopeful perspective. Positive reinforcement can boost their self-esteem and motivate them to keep moving forward. Be genuine with their strengths, avoid using Polly Anna statements that are empty and repetitive.
Let Them Know It's Okay to Need Extra Help
Communicate openly that seeking additional support is not just okay, but often a sign of strength. Encourage them to consider professional counseling if they need it.
Share resources or referrals for mental health professionals in your area. According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, 70% of individuals who seek therapy notice an improvement in their mental health. Your encouragement can be the nudge they need to take that step toward healing.
Standing Alongside Them Through Tough Times
Supporting others in crisis is about compassion and respect for personal boundaries. Your actions can create a space where individuals feel understood and less isolated. Remember, while being there is invaluable, recognizing when extra professional help might be necessary is equally important. It’s not about solving their problems; it’s about walking with them through their challenges.
Supporting Others in Crisis: The Art of Extending a Helping Hand
Supporting Others in Crisis: The Art of Extending a Helping Hand without Overstepping Boundaries by Rebekah Shurtleff, M.A., Registered Associate Marriage and Family Therapist and Registered Associate Professional Clinical Counseling at rebekahcounseling.com.